The English Language
 
This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers.
 
English is the only language in the world with a French melody and a German accent. It is truly a language built from the ground up to confound the wise...

Our language so highlights the term "Context Driven".
 
English can be so confusing, only women truly learn it. I wonder if that says something? :-)  -Really, it says women are better at dynamics than us guys.
 
1)  The bandage was wound around the wound.
2)  The farm was used to produce produce.
3)  The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4)  We must polish the Polish furniture.
5)  He could lead if  he would get the lead out.
6)  The soldier decided to desert his dessert in  the desert.
7)  Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the  present.
8)  A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9)  When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10)  I did not object to the object.
11)  The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12)  There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13)  They were too close to the door to close it.
14)  The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15)  A  seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16)  To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17)  The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18)  After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19)  Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed  a tear.
20)  I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21)  How can I intimate this to my most intimate  friend?
 
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.  English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.  Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet,  are meat.
 
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't  fing,  grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
 
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?  Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what  do you  call it?  Is it an odd, or an end?
 
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanatarian eat ? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
 
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which  your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm goes off by  going on...
 
English  was invented  by people, not computers and it reflects the creativity of the human  race, which of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. 
 
And why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
 
Have a great day!
 
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The English Language

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